it has been eight years on this space and my last post was two years ago. i'm almost afraid to reflect. my hands are cold with sweats, briefly read through some of the very old entries. trying to search for a piece of 'old-me'. life has a way of getting to us, or is it just me. two years of good, bad and everything in between. things change. i change. i realised i am good at shutting my feelings off and just carry on with other aspects of my life or was it because some stuffs just dont matter as much as before? taking a moment to pause. there're so many 'blur' figures for the past few years. it's like everything is so fast moving. i can barely remember the details or events. is this shutting or maybe they are the least impressive. perhaps i am too hard on myself and the people around me. i am constantly unhappy. what is the purpose of living? to search for a purpose? to fulfill that purpose? and then... to leave this place? ..... recently i met this man. he's very discipline and wise. we talked about life. i admired him. i could briefly remember our first encounter and oh, what's surprising.. ..... i guess i am getting rusty with words. till another time. xx